Writing on the Wall
by Amends to the Living
Summary: "The elder Fitch carefully held the envelope up to the light and was able to make out one name: Effy Stonem." With Freddie gone and her sister off to Goa with her girlfriend, Katie is left to realize that someone still needs her. Post S4. Keffy.
1. Chapter 1

"Goa? For how long?" Katie had practically gushed over the phone line, sounding a little less exasperated than she felt.

It wasn't so much the Campbell bitch, for the speech in the shed and many ones afterwards had helped her understand her sister's relationship a bit better. It was more about the fact that she and Emily hadn't been apart in ages. Most people thought that it was only Emily's co-dependence at work, but anyone who had witnessed her subsequent reaction to Emily's little shag with JJ knew better.

Katie needed her twin, just as much as Emily needed her. They made up for each other's faults, like a ying and a yang, and apart it just felt… _empty_. A part of her was rooting for a quick packing session and a tag along, but another really, _really_ didn't need to see that side of her twin.

She wasn't an idiot; she knew what that getaway was for.

Pondering on the much better places that she would have picked, Katie's thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. She was housesitting for Naomi and Emily, so she could only begin to guess who it was. The blonde had had warned her about communal living and Jesus look-a-likes, but Katie hadn't paid much mind to it then.

(Now she was beginning to wonder if maybe she should have…)

"Look, if you want a quick shag and breakfast, I suggest—"

But she stopped mid-sentence as a tall male cleared his throat and extended a clipboard. "Naomi Campbell, I presume?" the cheeky little postman asked, emphasizing the name with a snicker.

Katie quirked a brow high on her head and repressed the urge to lodge a heel in his throat, if only because they were new. "You remind me of an ex," she began, giving him a careful once-over. "Only much less fit and with a receding hairline."

The postman touched every fault as it was mentioned, offering her a scowl as she signed for the small box and a letter.

Snatching them from his grasp, Katie smirked with a flirty wink and turned on her heel, slamming the door before he could try his charm on for size again. She was fairly certain that it was as small as his prick.

Letting herself fall rather gracelessly onto the couch with a plop, her manicured fingertips began exploring the sealed box. She shook it gently, trying to figure out what it was. Meanwhile, the letter lay haphazardly on the edge of the coffee table where it had been carelessly tossed.

Then the thought occurred to her that the lezzer had ordered something—a _something_ that might scar her for life if she opened it—and once that thought crossed her mind, the aforementioned box went flying to the other side of the couch with an audible scoff of disgust. The brute movement caused her knee to hit the coffee table, making the letter fall off the edge as she muttered curses under her breath and finally retired to the kitchen.

There, she found obscene sticky notes on the counter and the table, causing a loud growl from the Fitch, one that wasn't all that comforted by Emily's cutesy handwritting on the one on the fridge door. It read, "The lobster apologizes for the cheese xoxo."

Pet names? I mean, really?

In Katie's mind, they were acting like a sickeningly cute newlywed couple with a sex drive on overload and very little common sense. But at least Emily still dotted her I's with hearts, so it wasn't like she had changed completely.

Still, Katie felt the familiar pull of jealousy low in her stomach at the thought that Naomi was even _remotely_ taking her place. She knew it was silly, but Emily was the only stable factor in her life. Yes, Katie was overbearing and often selfish, but it was for Emily's own good!

Well, _most_ of the time.

Reaching for a box of garibaldis, the brunette rolled her eyes at the note: "I've licked them all. x N." Walking back with a plate of the 'squashed flies' that she had been introduced to after her family's eviction, her dark brown eyes finally noticed the letter lying on the floor.

Usually, unless it was addressed to her—or in the rare case, Emily—Katie wouldn't sneak a peek. But under the excuse that Naomi had already broken her sister's heart once or twice, the elder Fitch carefully held the envelope up to the light and was able to make out one name:

Effy Stonem.

This caused her eyebrows to furrow, as the rest of the envelope remained completely anonymous.

After Freddie's death and Cook's conviction, Effy had disappeared once again. The last time it had been with Cook, and Katie thought that maybe she had run off with Panda this time, but then she remembered that Panda was studying with Thomas. JJ had never really been Effy's friend and he was still trying to make it work with whatsername and the baby.

So essentially, Effy had nobody.

And as much as Katie refused to acknowledge any similarities between them, it was something she could relate to. Grabbing her coat and keys, Katie headed towards the one place that still made all the sense in the world: Freddie's shed.

* * *

><p>It hadn't changed much since Freddie's impromptu birthday party, she noticed, as she moved through the backyard. The house had been in foreclosure for a few weeks now, so the shed was still the shed, save for the old strips of yellow police tape. Carefully stepping over them, she pushed open the door slowly, the loud and drawn out creak not helping her nerves.<p>

Not that Katie fucking Fitch was scared… just cautious.

She had been expecting to find cobwebs and bare walls, but instead the shed was as if it had never been abandoned. The pirate portrait of the brotherhood was missing—probably taken as a memoir by Freddie's sister or JJ—and instead the walls were lined with notebook paper. Taking a couple more steps inside, Katie moved closer to read the writing.

"I love her" was scrawled over and over in Freddie's messy handwriting, covering every inch of the page. It reminded her of the lines that teachers made kids repeat if they misbehaved. Had Freddie thought it was a punishment? Loving someone who couldn't love you back?

Her sixth sense made Katie freeze in place, feeling another pair of eyes on her from across the room. Turning slowly, dark brown met crystal blue and a gasp left her lips involuntarily. It felt like she was staring death straight in the face, goosebumps surfacing on her fair skin.

"E-Effy?" she muttered, her lisp returning as the other brunette took a few steps closer.

One, two, three.

The fourth was almost too close. She didn't smell like she usually did, like alcohol and cigarettes. Instead, she smelled like lavender. Her hair was free of tangles or knots, a little longer as it rested on her shoulders. She didn't have her usual dark, smoky makeup, but there were dried tracks of tears on her face.

"The one and only," finally came the raspy response and Katie was quick to notice that it sounded like she hadn't spoken in a while, lacking its usual luster. She didn't know much about Effy's past, or the dark periods on her life where she came off as a mute. Katie didn't know about Tony, or much about what happened to her since the party.

Katie wasn't much of an openly affectionate person. In fact, she was more intimidating than friendly. So wrapping her arms around the lankier brunette probably surprised her more than it did the recipient, who slowly but surely returned it.

Maybe Katie just needed a little proof that the last couple of years had really happened. That Emily finally embraced herself and found someone that made her sweetly miserable. That her parents had fallen out and rekindled their love to grossly high pda levels. That James had… well, remained James.

And that she had her shares of unrequited love, realized that she couldn't have children, and got hit over the head with a rock.

At the last recollection, Katie abruptly released Effy and shifted a bit in her spot, covering up her embarrassment with crossed arms defensively over her chest and a quick look around. "So, how long have you been holed up here then?"

Noticing the shift of the focus, Effy simply stared at Katie for a long moment. "Since the burial." This instantly made Katie feel guilty for even pointing it out, an emotion that she didn't recognize often.

Katie Fitch was _never_ sorry. She was unapologetically blunt and…

"Sorry."

The word was out before she could stop it. Effy noticed the slip and offered a lopsided smile, one crossed between sadness and 'I don't want your pity.' An uncomfortable silence loomed over them, before Katie pulled the letter out of her pocket and held it in her hands. Effy's icy blues darted to the object, a wave of understanding crossing her features.

"That's illegal," she muttered, catching the other brunette's bewildered expression. "Going through people's mail."

Katie scoffed at this, shaking her head gently.

"You're still impossible."

Effy smirked. "You're still stubborn," she replied without missing a beat. But Katie had noticed that some of Effy's steely resolve was missing, and that although she smiled or jeered in good sport, it didn't reach her eyes. She looked tired, worn out, and exhausted. Yet Katie was still amazed—and even enraptured—by the mysterious essence of Effy Stonem.

"You can't stay here," Katie said quietly, noticing the way the other girl averted her eyes.

"I know," Effy replied simply, pulling out a lighter and flicking it a few times.

"People will move in and… what are you doing?"

Effy had reached over behind Katie and grabbed a small tin of spliffs, remembering how much Freddie treasured it. It had long been empty, letting Katie guess what the lighter was for.

"Let's go," was all Effy said, following the brunette to the door.

Looking back over her shoulder, the blue-eyed mystery tossed her lighter and watched the flames crawl across the floor, creeping up the walls in haste. It was only then that Katie noticed the empty liquor bottles and her dark brown eyes widened. Grabbing Effy's hand, she pulled them across the street and out of harm's way as the writings on the wall turned a golden brown, before disintegrating into ashes as the shed collapsed into itself.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Okay, so the first three chapters of this were tucked away in an old notebook. I haven't written in ages (and usually when I do, my attention span is horrible for longer fics), but it's Keffy and we can always use more of them in this fandom. Cheers (:


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Happy Canada Day to those that celebrate it! And thanks for reading and the lovely words. Keffy fans made my day (:

* * *

><p>Slamming the door shut of the Campbell residence, Katie took in a deep breath as she leaned back against the door, while Effy merely picked at the loose strings of her cardigan.<p>

"What the _fuck_ were you thinking?" Katie all but screamed at her houseguest, ignoring the fact that she was technically one as well.

Effy didn't respond and there was no indication that she was planning to do so either… quite the contrary, actually. Katie stiffened up as Effy reached beside her arm for the doorknob, locking gazes with her. "Move," the blue-eyed brunette demanded through clenched teeth, knowing that this was going to be a battle. Everything was a battle when it came to her and Katie. They usually had a reason, like popularity or Freddie's affections, but they certainly didn't _need_ one. It was like their souls were blazing with white-hot energy, a magnetic resistance teetering on the fine line between love and hate.

"No," Katie replied sharply, refusing to budge. She knew that if she gave an inch, just an inch, Effy would walk all over her and right out of her life. Again.

"Katie," came the hesitant insistence from Effy, a sigh bordering on irritation leaving those parted lips that were so skilled with smoke rings. It took a little bit of effort on Katie's part not to follow this game; not to use the other girl's name in a sarcastic manner. But Katie wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.

Instead, she appealed to another side of Effy. It was a side that she didn't see often, but it was something they both shared: they were afraid of being alone.

"Where will you go?"

It was simple enough to the untrained ear, but it was intense enough for Effy to break their staring contest first. 'Anywhere but here.' That's what she wanted to say, but she didn't want to face the slew of questions in Katie's eyes, or the hurt in them if she interpreted it as 'anywhere but here, with anyone but you.' They were natural enemies once, after all. Then Katie came to visit her at the hospital and an unspoken truce formed.

"Dunno," Effy answered honestly with a shrug, letting her eyes close for a moment.

"Fine," came the clipped reply from the brown-eyed Fitch, whom had disappeared from her line of vision when her eyes opened once more. As Katie moved away further into the sheltered comfort of the living room, Effy was left stunned by Katie's quick defeat. It was very left field and her feet moved of their own accord as she sat down beside her on the couch.

Maybe it was because Katie _didn't_ ask her to stay that she did. It was usually the unspoken words that reached Effy's ears more than the others. It was easier, she supposed, with the voices.

Effy and Katie sat there for a long moment. Effy shifted a little only to lie back further with her head turned towards the other girl, her baby blues trailing over her narrowed features. She had never been sober enough to _really_ look at her. And despite Katie's harsh tone, she almost seemed… lost?

"I wasn't," Effy mumbled gently, her expression neutral as Katie's brown eyes met blue. When the other brunette looked at her expectantly, she added, "Thinking. I wasn't thinking."

Katie seemed a little satisfied. At least she had gotten more than a couple of words from the other Brit. They heard sirens as cars zipped down the street, presumably headed to the shed (or what was left of it, anyway). "Right. Well, so long as you don't burn the kitchen down, you can stay here." Noticing Effy's wandering eyes, she added, "I'm housesitting."

Effy nodded slowly at her confirmation, the gears turning in her head at the offer. It must have only been a minute or two, but Katie took her silence as a yes. Jumping up and clasping her hands together with a grin, Katie made the decision for her.

"Great! I mean… okay. Two rules, though: no rocks and no fucking matching pjs with writing on the bum."

* * *

><p>As Katie returned with a pair of flannel pjs for Effy, she stopped when she saw the brunette curled up on 'her side of the couch.' It was ridiculous for Katie to even think of it that way, but there she was, resting her head on the arm of the couch with her legs tucked up underneath her. Setting the clothes down on the coffee table, Katie tiptoed over to Effy's bag (not having noticed it before, but suddenly understanding the slight lag on their way here) and opened it.<p>

There were prescription bottles that were full and untouched, causing Katie to toy with her bottom lip.

If Effy wasn't taking her meds, she could relapse. Katie still hadn't completely forgiven herself for leaving the brunette alone in the bathroom, back when Freddie had left them alone for a bit. She never mentioned it again, mostly because she had been counting on Freddie always being there for her.

But what about now?

Digging deeper, Katie felt her fingertips trail over glossy photos and memoirs, before her hand wrapped around something. It was too soft to be the neck of a bottle and she took on a perplexed look when she pulled out a stuffed giraffe. It was a little dirty and worse for wear, so Katie stopped her search and went to wash it, holding it out with her thumb and index finger.

* * *

><p>"Patto," Effy muttered in her sleep, reaching out blindly for it and nearly toppling off the couch. Her eyes wide and frantic, she tossed off the duvet that had been draped over her slumbering form and started digging through her bag.<p>

"Patto? Patto!"

Katie heard some muffled shouting coming from the direction of the living room and she bolted down the hallway, her brown tresses damp and tousled from being towel dried. "Patto!" the yelling continued, even when Katie had leaned down to her level and was trying to talk her out of her frenzy.

"Effy? Effy, calm down… Christ's sake, you're scaring me!"

Only then did Effy pause, blinking back at Katie with dim, glistening eyes narrowed in sadness and loss.

"Patto, I can't… I can't find him."

Katie stared at her blankly, swallowing the lump in her throat as she tried to calm herself down. "Effy… what… who is Patto?" Bringing her hands up to her head, Effy was torn between realities, unsure which one Patto belonged in. "Wait," Katie intercepted suddenly, leaping up on to her feet and racing to the backyard. Pulling something out of the dryer, she returned to Effy bearing it as a gift, relieved when the confusion left those blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just thought—"

Effy snatched it out of her hands with such force that Katie's voice trailed off, watching the brunette's frail form clutching the stuffed animal to her heaving chest. "You went through my stuff," Effy said, more of a statement than a question. "I need to go."

Katie's brows furrowed towards the center while she watched Effy collect her scattered items from the floor.

"Effy…"

"Don't," the blue-eyed ball of fury spat back, her hostility not ceasing even when Katie began to help her gather her things. "You don't trust me."

Katie's strong grasp went to the other girl's bag and became white knuckled, her brown eyes softening uncharacteristically fast. "I don't think you trust yourself right now… Effy, you're not taking your meds, you were squatting in the shed for god knows how long, and no one knew where you were."

Effy shook her head slowly, some of her hair falling into her face at the movement as Katie tried to regain eye contact. But Effy hid further inside of herself, her gentle and sporadic breathing coming out through her mouth and swaying her tresses.

A chill quickly settled in the room, one that _almost_ made Katie question her amazing outfit for that evening, but she didn't let it go. As much as she wanted to rub her upper arms to help with her blood circulation, Katie Fitch didn't waver.

If anyone could get through to Effy Stonem, it was going to be her.

She was certain of her victory when the quiet brunette finally parted her lips to speak, although she wasn't entirely prepared for the three little words that floated in the air next.

"I'm knocked up."


	3. Chapter 3

Katie's hand finally released the bag, moving up to rest on her mouth as Effy shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. Seeing the opportunity for an escape, she finally took back her bag and shoved Patto into it. Slinging it over her shoulder, she moved to stand and extended her hand out to Katie. It took a couple of moments before their palms brushed against each other, fingers gripping and striving for dominance in the simple task of getting them up on to their feet.

"Patto's hungry," was all Katie could think to muster, her cheeks reddening lightly after her words left her lips.

Effy's lips twitched, first into a frown, but then slowly into her trademark smirk that was more perplexing than the Mona Lisa and she snickered.

"Patto's a puppet, Katie."

Appreciating Katie's humorous attempt, however, Effy offered her a small smile; well, as much of a smile as a lopsided one could be. "Thanks." She didn't elaborate on what she meant, whether for saving her from the fire, or letting her crash mid-day, or even washing Patto. She assumed that Katie would just know.

The brown-eyed brunette nodded gently, desperately wanting to ask a million questions, but not finding the right words for any of them. So instead, Katie sighed. "There's a pervy postman that comes by here every morning."

Effy could tell that she wasn't in any immediate danger, but she decided to play along. "Have you shagged him then? Sorted him nice and proper?"

Or not.

Katie's mouth fell open and she gaped in disdain at the other girl. "For your information, I do _not_ shag every guy that I see… even if they looked hung." Now it was Katie's turn to smirk, not sure why Effy would care… or rather, why she wanted her to care. She blamed it on being alone.

"Right," Effy retorted unconvincingly, her feet shuffling towards the door. Katie followed her closely, trying to find any excuse to give, anything at all to make her stay.

"You can't do this on your own."

Effy's hand hovered over the doorknob as those words sunk in, bit by bit. With a shaky breath, blue met brown again. This time, maybe just this one time, Katie won.

* * *

><p>"What is all this?"<p>

Katie looked up from the latest issue of Heat and grinned smugly at Effy's surprise. "Well, if I'm going to be your mid-wife, then we're going to have to start you on a healthy food regimen." Her chin was raised slightly, showing her place in this conversation. She was a young, confident woman who would get her way. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Effy hopped up on to the counter and let her feet dangle a bit off the edge, quirking her brow at a large gallon of mango juice. "Really?" she asked with a pointed look.

Katie nodded without looking up, reading her just like a book. "Yes. JJ suggested that. Lots of it."

Fuck, how did she do that? Just… read her mind like that? It made Effy itch for a hit, or a cigarette at least. Anything, really.

"No spliffs, no fags, no vodka. No funny business, Stonem."

Effy's lips fell into a frown, popping a few pieces of cereal into her mouth. "Who made you mid-wife?" she remarked, one part bitter and three parts amused at the turns of this situation.

Katie finally lowered the magazine just long enough to silently answer Effy with a challenging look in her eyes and a slight lift of her chin. "Me. Why, is that a problem?"

Effy was unmoved by Katie's defensive display, but she was curious about her sudden interest in the baby. For Effy was pretty certain that Katie otherwise had no interest in her life. Not that she knew anything about the pregnancy back when she pulled her out of the shed, but… still.

"Weren't you going out?" Effy changed tactics, wondering just how committed Katie was to this new project of hers. "With Danny… no, Sam?"

Katie rolled her eyes at that and chuckled dryly. "Babes, we broke up a long time ago."

Effy saw right through her statement. "You mean, you broke his heart," she corrected her, though it was met with a dismissive wave of Katie's hand.

Still, it felt like there was something more to the story, like a part of it was still untold. Katie Fitch went through boyfriends like she went through fags. Once the initial burn or the illusion wore off, they were back to being simply ways to pass the time. Effy knew better than to press the subject, but she'd never wanted to feel more vulnerable than the person sitting next to her. That was her problem with Freds. It usually wouldn't be a problem at all, but…

Well, Effy would be Effy.

Katie caught on fairly quickly to the pause looming over their heads, but she wasn't ready to give in, to give any ammo to Effy, to give her an inkling of the fact that she too could be broken. So Katie simply served a glass of mango juice for the other brunette, pushing it towards her slightly, before disappearing behind her magazine again.

After a few moments, her dark brown orbs peered over the table, spotting an empty glass and that Stonem smirk steadfast on a pair of lips that were licking themselves clean.

* * *

><p>"If I knew origami, I'd make you a heart to replace the one you're lacking."<p>

Katie peered into the living room from the kitchen, only to see Effy speaking for an old sitcom that had been put on mute. There was a hand draped subconsciously over her stomach, while the other mimicked the gestures on the telly.

Drying the last dish, she placed it carefully back into place (blatantly ignoring the sticky notes that held their ground), before dragging herself into the next room. "Had enough mocking the telly yet?" Katie teased with an impish smile.

Effy shrugged and flicked it off, before moving to stand and stretching her arms high above her head. Several bones popped on her lithe body, the flannel top rising slightly to reveal a strip of porcelain skin. It wasn't noticeable yet, but Katie couldn't help but stare and marvel at how a living, breathing Effy-sized human being was growing in there.

"Perv," came the low, teasing mumble that finally snapped Katie out of her epiphany.

"Fuck off."

But it was said through a pair of pearly whites, benevolent and almost playful. Effy reached for her bag once more with a furrowed brow in faux hurt, but Katie beat her to the punch by snagging it with pursed lips. "Nice try, Ef."

And once again, Effy found herself following behind Katie, who dumped her things on a decent twin-sized bed in what appeared to be a spare room.

With her mum often off traveling with her Irishman, she could guess that this was where Naomi would sleep if she got into a tiff with Emily. Technically, it was more Naomi's than Emily's place, but Effy knew her well enough to know that she would swallow her pride and prefer to sleep alone on a bed that wasn't 'theirs.' The evidence of their bond was all over the kitchen.

The blue-eyed smirk extraordinaire took a seat on the edge of the bed, watching as Katie took charge and started gathering some fresh sheets and a pillow from the small closet in the hallway. "Thanks," she responded almost automatically, going through the routine of making her bed much like she did back at the hospital.

They said their goodnights before retiring to beds that were not their own.

* * *

><p>They tossed and turned.<p>

Katie reached for Emily's pillow and hugged it to her chest. In the pitch darkness, she couldn't even make out her own shadow, much less her moment of weakness. No one was there to judge her or see passed the walls that came down when she was alone with herself.

Effy pulled out an old olive green cardigan and wrapped herself up in it like a cocoon. She knew that in the morning, she would be no closer to being a butterfly than Freddie was to bring alive. Her baby blues glazed over and glistened in the faint lighting of the room, willing herself not to shed the moisture that was building because Katie _fucking_ Fitch was in the next room.

_Katie…_

The same girl she'd almost killed, right before shagging her boyfriend on the same night. She felt the bile rising in her throat as she raced to the bathroom, sputtering for air after emptying all the contents of her stomach.

She was a shuddering mess beside the porcelain throne, barely recognizing the arms that embraced her midsection and pulled back her hair, whispering sweet nothings into her ear.

"You're fine, Effy. You're fine," Katie whispered as she rubbed circles into the other girl's tight back. That seemed to do the trick. Pulling them both up to their feet, Katie's hands slid down Effy's arms, stopping at her wrists and cautiously turning them over.

Brown met blue while Katie traced over Effy's scars lightly. The shaking subsided and both parties stood perfectly still, while Effy reached up to place her fingertips against Katie's left temple. The other brunette flinched involuntarily, moving to grab Effy's retreating hand in mid-air before it got too far.

There was a momentarily struggle between the two, but it was all in their gaze. A tug and push between wants and needs.

When does a want become a need?

Neither of them spoke, but their legs were moving. They ended up back in Effy's temporary bed, moving like they were perfectly in sync. Effy turned towards the wall, closing her eyes to keep herself out of her own mind. Katie lay behind her, not quite spooning but close enough to be considered so.

No one said a word.

When Effy's midsection was rising and falling evenly, Katie went into the kitchen and brought her back a glass of water. She leaned over to place it on the nightstand by Effy's side, satisfied to find that it was empty soon after.

Propping her head against her hand, Katie watched the other girl sleep. Sure, so the back of Effy Stonem's head wasn't particularly interesting and the rhythm of her breathing was nothing like an orchestra. In fact, just seeing her sleeping like this made Effy seem like the most ordinary person in the world.

What was it about her that made her better? What won over the boys and had them fighting over her? What was _so fucking special_ that it tore lives apart?

The more Katie watched her, the more clueless she became. If it was a matter of looks and shagging alone, then yeah, Effy was… something. Or so she supposed. But those words in the shed, the ones that said 'I love her,' those meant something, right?

Ultimately, they meant that Effy would always have something that she didn't.


End file.
